Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
