today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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