3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
