So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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