Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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