You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
