I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
