Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
