Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
should my penis look like a turkey
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
