i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
