8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
