i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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