I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize