Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
