I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
