Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
