ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
