ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
