Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
