How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
