My brain says no but my pants say off.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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