I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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