Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
