I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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