HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
