This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize