After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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