mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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