After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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