I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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