Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
