you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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