the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
