I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
