"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
