I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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