This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
