you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
