please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
