He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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