We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
