I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
