Having a random hookup so left but love u
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
