Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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