I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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