My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
