Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
