Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Operation Purity has been aborted
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
