i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
