im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
