JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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