My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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