took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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