You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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