doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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