You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
