I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
