I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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