the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
