wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
